No, not the subway. Subway. As in the sandwich shop.
I’m serious.

If you’ve ever visited one of these during the work week’s peak lunch hours, you know what I’m talking about. It’s straight up bananas.

I had no idea what the hell I was about to get myself into when I forgot my lunch today and decided to join my fellow frugal co-workers.

“Five. Five Dollah.  Five Dollah Foot Longs!” we chanted down 42nd street. I was feeling good. Feeling bold. Who’s going out for lunch today? THIS GIRL.

FOOD TIIIIIIMES!

No I don’t want your silly flier sir (slaps the hand), for I am NOT a tourist. Do I look like a tourist?! Of course I like comedy shows; what kind of a question is that? I hate you so much. Jesus, why do these people move so slowly? I hate these people. Arrest is the only reason not to tornado…